Sight

Sight

I just started wearing glasses a couple years ago. My eyes used to be amazing, i could pick out tiny road signs in the distance. I was killer at the road sign game because i could see them before anybody else in the church van. Then they progressively got worse and worse, to where i couldn't even read a book without squinting at it. i wrote it all off as i got used to it, and lived with poor eyesight for a year. I started getting major headaches and migraines because of all of it. So i go to the doctor, and get some glasses. And man oh man, i walked outside, and i could see the individual leaves on the trees again! I could see the beauty of the world i lived in again. Totally awesome. My eyes, even with glasses, are not like they once were, that's just something that comes with age i guess.

Now for the analogy. Rather ironic that during this time in my life, when i went without glasses, i also went without any spiritual help. I stopped reading my bible, i stopped going to church, i stopped just following god. I did my own thing. The difference between light and dark in my life became so skewed that all i could see was darkness. When i moved back to cruces from Albuquerque, i moved in with 8 christian guys, and got back into reading my bible and spending time with God. I was given spiritual glasses, and started to discern the good and the bad in my life. I had to call things off with a girl i had been dating for 7 month because it was not a God focused relationship, and she was not willing to refocus it. So i went on for a year or so with these new found "spiritual glasses" and learned a lot about myself and about the world around me. I was able to see the beauty of this world so much deeper than i had before.

Then, because i am human, i fell. Not quite as far down as i had before, but i had gotten back into drinking and partying, and skipping church to sleep in and skipping bible study and quiet time for hanging out with non Christian friends. I had lost the ability to discern light again. I hadn't been to church in at least a year, and was relying on the campus ministry i was a part of to keep me in the light. Well, when everyone is a peer, we can't help out we are all blind to the outcome of our decisions. I went and worked at a Christian camp in Colorado, and this is where god finally slapped me upside the head and strapped the glassed to my head. I lived with 30+ other college age kids for the summer, in a community that was full of christians. I came back from that summer amped to live my life for god. I started church shopping to find a new home, and started going to aggress for christ. I joined a small group and went to church every Sunday. The light became so bright in my life. I could see details in my life that i had missed for so long, found out my faults and attempted to fix them.

Now there are times, maybe a week at most, where i take my glasses off. I stop reading or skip church or small group, and my life feels different. My ability to discern is clouded. But then i get back into the Word, start going to small group again, and makes me want to not miss those things again. Our ability to discern the light from the dark depends on where we are ourselves. If we are surrounded in darkness, everything may seem dark. If we are inside the light, then when the dark comes in, we will be able to see it and avoid it.

As c.s. Lewis said, "i believe in Christianity as i believe the sun is risen. Not only because i see it, but by it i see everything else" without the light in our lives, without our constant prayer and fellowship with other Christians, how can we see anything?

Question #2

So last week i posted a question on facebook that i wanted a response to. Now i have another one that i would like a response to, but this question can be very personal, so i figure posting it on my blog that allows anonymous comments would be better. I am not asking for comments unless you feel like you want to, the reason for asking this question is to spark some thoughts on yourself. So here is the question:

What is the biggest vice that you deal with and what are the lies that make you fall into that specific vice?

How can you better flee from this specific vice?

Fear and Faith

Matthew 14:27-33 (New International Version)


27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

29"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

When I worked at Horn Creek (a camp in Colorado) there was an issue with finances. I went up knowing that I was not going to be making much money, in fact, I knew I was going to break even after paying rent back home and car payment and such. Then we get the news that the camp may not be able to pay the summer staff, or really any of the staff, at all. I was devastated, and ready to just leave. I had fear of paying my bills. Fear that I had come to Colorado all in vain. Then God moved. God played his pieces just right so that we all did get paid each month. God worked in ways that summer that just strengthened my life and my walk with him. It also taught me about fear.

Many times in my life I have experienced fear, as I am sure you have had as well. I worry about my plans, my finances, my relationships with friends. What I have come to realize is that when I have fear in my mind, there is no faith in God in my heart. My faith in God's provision and his plans and promises in my life.

When my faith is strong, I know God can help me to do the impossible and the improbable. But when there is just a little seed of doubt, I become like Peter and just sink in my own fear and failures as I try to mend what may not be broken.

When you have fear in your mind, you leave faith with no room to live in. God's plan for you may not lead you to where you want it to right now, but I know from experience that where I am right now is where I want to be at the moment, because this is definitely where God has put me. So have faith that God wants to put you in a great place, and to keep you in great places throughout your life. Have faith that His plans are greater than you could ever hope for. And fear not. As Yoda puts it, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering." I'm not sure about all the middle stuff, but I can vouch for the whole fear eventually leads to suffering if you let it guide your life.

Ministering

I was reading through an interview with a Christian Music artist that has been on hiatus for the past 7 years and it got me thinking. In the interview, this musician comes out of the closet, saying how she has been involved in a serious same sex relationship for the past 8 years. When i first read that, i was completely disgusted and wanted to just stop reading and never think about her again.

Well, God really played on my heart, and i kept reading. So much of what she said just disgusted me, as she still proclaims to be a christian, yet lives the life she does. She was asked whether she has had to choose between her lifestyle and her faith, and she says yes she has at times, but almost sounds like she thinks they are not conflicting as much as I would consider them to be.

With this in mind, I was reading a friends blog post talking about this same interview, and his point in his note was that as christians we tend to only minister to those unbelievers that are easy to talk with, when their sin doesnt seem so bad to us, something that we dont completely frown upon. But when we come to someone whose life is full of sin that we completely detest, we just turn tail and run. Or we pull the card of they know what they are doing to their life, they dont care about their demise. Yet John Smith can have sex repeatedly outside of marriage and we are more than happy to minister and evangelize to him.

Im not saying that ministering to the adulterer is bad, i am trying to say that running away from the people that need the most help is definitely not the best way to mirror Christ. Jesus always hung out with the sinners of his time, the tax collectors, the prostitutes. The people that, in His time, everyone else stayed away from. What groups of sinners do you avoid completely? What groups does your church or fellowship avoid ministering to? Those are the people that you should start ministering to.

Now dont go alone into these groups, but go with a couple guys / girls. The more people you have that this group is willing to invite into their little clubhouse the better. The more people that can set an example of how a Christian should live.

First!!!

Hey guys, so here is my first major step in getting rid of Facebook. I really enjoy the social network of Facebook, but have come to see that I rely too much on it for entertainment / keeping up with friends. I will keep my facebook account active and what not, as I like having all my friend's profile pictures on my phone, but i think that will be it.

You might find yourself asking: "But Spence, how will I get a hold of you now that you no longer check your facebook?" well I will tell you. If you know me in real life, and see me in person, well, get my phone number! And for people that I dont know in real life, well, you can start with twitter, and we can go from there ;) www.twitter.com/ang3l12; and if you have google talk / skype, just message me on facebook within at least a month and I will get back to you :)

This is a major decision for me, and something that has been on my heart for a while now. To start a blog and maintain it, and to get rid of facebook. So hopefully my friends / family will catch on and contact me through the methods mentioned above, and as I said, you can message me on facebook to get a hold of me for the next month or so. I will check messages a couple times a week till the end of may, just so nobody feels left out.


See you on the other side!